What happens when a woman’s leadership coach starts working almost exclusively with men? For me, it wasn’t just an unexpected shift—it was a powerful reminder of why this work with women matters more than ever.
I’m sharing the behind-the-scenes of my recent leadership experiment: coaching male leaders after spending the last eight years coaching women full-time. What I discovered not only challenged my assumptions but also reignited my commitment to creating gender-aware spaces for coaching and career development.
If you’ve ever felt overlooked, overthinking, or underestimated at work, this one’s for you.
Coaching Men Changed My Perspective—Here’s How
When I first received a coaching inquiry from a man, I hesitated. Would my woman-centered brand and voice resonate? Would he feel seen or supported?
Then I remembered—he sought me out. He already knew I championed women at work. He wasn’t looking for someone to mimic the dominant leadership model. He wanted a different perspective. That realization unlocked something: my work with women wasn’t exclusive, it was expansive.
Shortly after, I accepted a corporate contract that involved coaching primarily male leaders. Overnight, my client base shifted from 100% women to mostly men. What I learned was surprising, validating, and deeply important.
What I Noticed Coaching Male vs. Female Leaders
Coaching men helped me see again that women operate under an entirely different set of pressures and paradigms. Not better or worse, just different. Here are a few patterns that emerged:
1. Work-Life Integration vs. Separation
Women I coach often integrate their personal and professional identities. They draw parallels between personal challenges and workplace dynamics. They process their experiences holistically.
In contrast, the men I coached tended to compartmentalize. Work was work. Life was life. They were less likely to consider how one area of life shaped the other—making reflective questions like “how is this showing up across your life?” unfamiliar territory.
Both styles have pros and cons. But the difference underscores a larger truth: many women carry an emotional labor load at work that goes unseen and unshared.
2. The Confidence-Competence Gap
Research from Women in the Workplace 2023 shows that men consistently overestimate their competence, while women tend to underestimate theirs. In coaching, that gap becomes obvious.
Men often assume they’re performing well and ask for strategy. Women often assume they’re falling short and come to sessions wanting to process or validate their experience before making a move.
Neither approach is wrong. But it points to a cultural pattern: women are more likely to second-guess and overanalyze, while men lean into action—sometimes prematurely.
3. Coaching Style Preferences
Men usually want fast answers. “Tell me what to do,” they’ll say. “Give me the strategy.”
Women come into coaching differently. They narrate, reflect, and explore before asking for advice. The result? They often uncover deeper truths, but may take longer to claim their power and ask for support.
The ideal coaching scenario blends both: introspection and direct action. A client who reflects, clarifies their needs, and then asks for a strategy is a coach’s dream. And that’s what I help every client—regardless of gender, move toward.
Why Women Still Need Gender-Aware Coaching Spaces
This experience reminded me why I do this work.
Women’s careers are still shaped by unique challenges:
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Disproportionate caregiving expectations
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Relational patterns and people-pleasing norms
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Fewer role models at higher levels of leadership
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Subtle workplace biases and cultural messaging
That’s why I continue to hold space for women to process, reflect, and strategize together. Gender isn’t the only factor that matters, but it does shape how we experience the workplace. A gender-aware coaching space can speed up trust, self-awareness, and breakthrough growth.
So What Does This Mean for You?
If you’re a woman in leadership (or aspiring to be), here’s what I hope you take away from my behind-the-scenes experiment:
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You’re not imagining it—your experience is different
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You don’t need to “think like a man” to lead effectively
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Reflection is valuable—but action moves things forward
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You deserve to be supported in a space designed for your growth
And if you’re a man? Coaching is for you too. Encouraging the men in your life to work with a coach builds stronger, more self-aware workplaces for everyone.
Final Thoughts: Coaching Expanded My Skills—and My Why
Stepping outside my usual coaching circle made me a better coach. It sharpened my tools. It reminded me how much nuance and insight women bring to leadership—and how often they’re misunderstood or underestimated.
Coaching men didn’t diminish my commitment to women. It deepened it. Because now I can name what women are navigating with more clarity, and support them with more precision.
Let’s Keep Growing—Together
If this resonated with you, take the next step.
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Download the High Potential Pack—a free guide with tools to boost your visibility, strengthen your leadership, and design a career that aligns with your goals.
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Reach out on LinkedIn or Instagram and share: What’s one insight about gender and leadership that’s resonating with you right now?
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Watch for the next opening of the Personal Power Code Mastermind, where ambitious women redefine what leadership looks and feels like—in community.
You don’t need to change who you are to lead powerfully. You need support that sees you clearly—and strategies that help you thrive.
Until next time, keep showing up and keep thriving.