This small trick will seriously improve your life

 


One thing I've noticed in myself, and with my life coaching clients, is that it's our natural tendency as humans to spend far more time thinking about the reasons we can't, than thinking about the ways that we CAN. Even when we've had a breakthrough…

As a life coach, I’m in the business of breakthroughs. 

What does that mean? As coach, my goal with each of my clients is to help them understand the following: 

  • Where they are now (point A)
  • Where they want to go (point B)
  • What beliefs, fears or circumstances are keeping them stuck at point A

We’re reallllly good at convincing ourselves that things aren’t possible. We’re excellent at collecting evidence that proves all the reasons our wild success isn’t possible. We are always trying to “rationalize” our way out of all of our big dreams. 

This is why coaching is so powerful. Your coach serves as an impartial sounding board that is willing to call you out when you start down your trail of excuses and justification. When we are able to see our situation from a new perspective and acknowledge the beliefs and perceptions we have that are keeping us from doing the things we desire, a breakthrough happens. It’s like a light switch has been been flipped on, and suddenly our self imposed limitations are obvious for what they are: fear. Fear takes many forms: self doubt, procrastination, and avoidance are just a few of the ways it shows up. 

We can also choose not to engage with this external viewpoint, and avoid breakthroughs entirely. It feels safer here, at times, to relax into the comfort of our own limitations. We aren’t asking too much of ourselves, and because our arguments are so convincing, everyone around us will accept them as well. The only problem with this choice is that we are the ones who suffer. We will never live to our fullest potential and realize our biggest dreams if we only surround ourselves with people that echo our own limitations back to us. 

One thing I’ve noticed in myself, and with my clients, is that it’s our natural tendency as humans to spend far more time thinking about the reasons we can’t, than thinking about the ways that we CAN. Even when we’ve had a breakthrough in conversation with our coach or close friend, we’re likely to forget that realization in light of the hassles of the rest of the day. That’s why my I’ve started my most recent bullet journal spread to record all of the breakthroughs I’ve had in working with my own coaches. Just as practicing daily gratitude helps us to remain centered in a grateful state, reviewing and honoring our breakthroughs can keep us grounded in our new possibility

This is my small trick for today to seriously improve your life: seek out breakthroughs, and don’t stop there. Write it down. Review it. Revisit it. Incorporate this realization into your life, by considering it in your decisions and planning processes. My bullet journal spread isn’t anything fancy, but it’s a way for me to remind myself of the consistent and impressive progress I’m making, even on days when I feel like I’m in a bit of a stall. I hope you’ll join me in finding a way to record your own breakthroughs in service of a year guided by possibility, rather than another year guided by excuses and limitations. 

Are you looking to create some new breakthroughs for yourself in 2017? Schedule a free consultation call with me here to determine if my private coaching program or a 90 minute intensive would be a good fit for you!

 

The “shoulds” make you boring.

 


The biggest question looming over 20 somethings these days (and always) seems to be frustratingly unanswerable: what should I do with my life? We look in books, podcasts, to our mentors, our parents, workshops…all in the hopes that what we “should” be doing will jump out at us and make itself known.

I argue that what you “should” do isn’t the question. The more important inquiry to understand is: how do I make my major life decisions? 

Do you make choices based on what you think you “should” do, or what you’re excited about doing? Are your choices coming from a place of instilled responsibility, or alignment with your ultimate vision for your life?

In coaching, we often talk about the dreaded “shoulds,” the social conventions we all grew up accepting and believing as truth. The “shoulds” vary across time and cultures, but they generally serve to teach us how to be contributing members of our society. We should go to school, get a job, have a family. We should save up for emergencies, we should be rational, we should focus more on what makes us money than what brings us joy. We should exercise, we should eat well, we should help one another. The “shoulds” can be incredibly valuable, especially when we’re unsure about where to go next. These conventions show us a path, telling us exactly where to place our foot next. Right foot, responsibility. Left foot, hard work. 

The problem with the “shoulds” is that far too often we forget that they’re nothing more than a framework. They’re the canvas on which we create our lives, and our personal choices and off path wanderings are the paint. Nothing original has ever been created by following a formula; this also means that nothing original has ever been created in a cocoon of total safety and comfort. Simply put, only following the “shoulds” makes you and your life incredibly boring.

You don’t need to reject every “should” tomorrow, but I encourage you to ask yourself which “shoulds” you’re currently embracing. Are they serving you in living your original, once in a lifetime, unforgettable iteration of your life? Or are you acting as you “should” and walking unconsciously through your days? If that’s the case, I dare you to shed a “should” or two. When you reject constant comfort and embrace a bit of daring, magical things start to happen.  

 

Why Being a Rebel is Screwing You Over

I used to think of myself as somewhat of a rebel. I still do, in many ways. I think unconventionally, I’m not afraid to challenge the status quo, and I love and embrace people who can embrace their unique traits. Obviously, the rebels in the world have a very special place in my heart. Unfortunately, the rebels also get it wrong a lot of the time. 

Rebels don’t like being told what to do. They also don’t like asking for help. This is pretty much a zero sum game in which the rebel nearly always winds up burnt out, exhausted, and grumpy. Let’s be real: how many truly blissful rebels do you know? I don’t know many. And they’re doing it to themselves. 

Can you be a rebel AND blissful? Absolutely. We all deserve to be well supported women. The hurdle you need to overcome is in learning to ask for what you need. I don’t just mean ordering takeout instead of cooking your own meal because you’re tired-although I definitely get that. I mean that you need to create sustainable structures in your life that allow you to spend your time doing what you love, and more importantly NOT spending your time on things that don’t need your attention. 

Whether you’re a Doc-Marten-wearing-The-Clash-blasting rebel or not, you could probably benefit from building up your personal support team. An awesome first step in this direction is to hire a Virtual or Personal Assistant. This will be a lesson in surrender, and might be difficult at first. But imagine all of the incredible space and freedom you’ll create for yourself by learning to let go of the mundane tasks clogging up your day. 

I’ve got you, rebels. I created this simple resource to help you find, hire and work with your dream VA. Grab your copy today, and consider it your first step toward a more free (and hopefully less grumpy) life. 

 

xo,

L