by Laura Weldy | Mar 30, 2017 | Uncategorized
Last week I got real on money mindset: what it is and why it matters for women. But I’m not done yet! Talking about our attitudes and preconceptions around money is one of the most important conversations we can have, precisely because money itself is unimportant. Money as we know it is simply paper – it doesn’t mean anything about who we are. However, because money is a tool we can use it to create the life we want or to deny ourselves that life – and therein lies the importance.
When we do have conversations about money as women, we often fill the gaps and lulls with deprecating comments or diversions to other more comfortable arenas. We’ll focus on the areas that don’t really matter (i.e. how much that item costs and why we could never splurge in that way) instead of the areas that do matter (how we perceive money and how we can feel liberated by our income to pursue a life we desire). Money has power over our lives because for the most part we have chosen to allow it to reign supreme. It is often THE deciding factor in all areas of our life: location, relationships, health and wellness, career and many others.
What if you and your desires could be the deciding factor instead? (Psst. If you haven’t read The Desire Map yet, pause here and do that! I also highly recommend Money, a Love Story if you’re interested in a more in depth understanding of your own money mindset.)
Today, I’m sharing three of the money stories (and usually, they’re not true stories!) I hear most often in my work as coach, and journalling prompts to help you understand and overcome them. Overcoming them will help you release some of the hold that money has over you and your life, as you realize that the only reason money seems to exert power is because you choose to let it.
- Someday I’ll ____, once I have enough money.
- Journalling prompts: In what other areas of my life am I putting things off for “someday?” How will I know when I’ve saved enough money? What is my relationship to having “enough?” What if I took action now, and figured out the money along the way?
- Rich people are all greedy and materialistic.
- Journalling prompts: Why do I believe these things about rich people? Are there examples of alternative people that prove me incorrect? Do I think having money would fundamentally change me as a person? Why do I feel the need to judge people who have money? What are ways that people with money can make the world a better place?
- I can’t afford that.
- Journalling prompts: Why is this my instinctual response? Is this true for me, or just what I’m accustomed to? What steps could I take to make this possible? What CAN I afford?
Once you spend some time journalling on these or other money stories, let them go. You can have a money lies release ritual, or just close your notebook with purpose, cutting off the need to focus on that limiting belief. Remember that every day and every dollar is an opportunity to rewrite your attitude toward money, and to feel empowered rather than trapped by the money in your account.
And keep talking about it! Ask other women in your life some of these questions, and learn from their experiences. The more we share our knowledge, the stronger we all become. Next week, my local women’s mastermind is meeting in person to tackle these money stories and rewrite versions that make us feel inspired rather than discouraged. What’s your rewrite look like? xx
by Laura Weldy | Mar 23, 2017 | Money
What’s your money story?
Wondering wtf I’m talking about? Money is a big deal, ladies. And we don’t talk about it nearly enough! I’m passionate about making the conversation about money not just approachable, but soulful – because there’s so much more to money than figures on a page. I was blown away in a recent conversation with friends when one of the women explained how disempowered and trapped her paycheck made her feel. Yes, it’s great to be able to pay the bills – but when did a paycheck start to feel like a set of handcuffs? I know she isn’t alone in feeling this way!
If the connection between money and life coaching isn’t obvious to you, let me break it down for you: money is a tool that we can use to either create or destroy our lives, opportunities, expectations and happiness. How we use it is up to us – but far too often we don’t take the time to consider money objectively, instead getting caught up in the associated emotions we have inherited from our family, media, or society as a whole.
Today I want to dig into why money and the feelings we associate with it matter (and, spoiler alert: next week I’ll also share a few journalling prompts designed to help you overcome your own blocks around earning and spending money!).
Do you feel excited when you see money deposited into your checking account? Relieved? Stressed? The emotional response we have to the flow of money, conscious or not, is a direct indicator of what type of story we’re telling ourselves. For example, if I feel a sense of relief each time I receive money, it could be because I think earning money needs to be difficult, and that prosperity isn’t guaranteed. My “money story” is that money is not dependable, and consequently something to always be guarded.
It might seem like talking about your money story isn’t as important as actually making money. I’m here to tell you that the two go hand in hand – and that thinking consciously about your emotional beliefs about money isn’t just an exercise for the personal development junkie in your life. It’s an illuminating and necessary practice for anyone who is dedicated to freeing themselves financially, because the story is what dictates how we manage our funds.
Whatever you believe to be true about money, you’ll seek out evidence of in your life. That’s just how we work – we are continually affirming our world views and ideas by finding proof in our surroundings. This isn’t a bad thing, but it does mean that we want to be intentional about the beliefs we foster. By having healthy and positive beliefs about money, we’re inviting more of that healthy and positive money energy into our lives.
Which would you rather see evidence in your daily life: an abundant universe, a plethora of opportunities and joyful earning, or a deficit of money that causes stress, fear, and limitations? I think most of us would agree that the former is most appealing. How do we do that? By intentionally rewriting our money story. By believing first that something better is possible, and allowing that to show up in our lives.
In order to shift our mindset away from negative thoughts about money and it’s role in your life and toward a healthier, happier money story, we need to first understand where you are now. You need to clearly identify your money story and it’s origin. Ask yourself:
- What does money mean to me? In what ways does having or not having money influence my life?
- What opportunities have I denied myself due to money?
- What would be different for me if I was no longer limited by money?
Now that you understand your money context, see if you can summarize your beliefs about money in a few sentences. Remember that this is a work in progress, and that this story will continue to evolve and change. Use this first version of your money story to challenge yourself a bit each day. Journal for 30 minutes once or twice a week on your story, its origin, and (most importantly!) what you want the next chapter to look like.
Start to notice, in the meantime, how your reality is shifting. Notice whether you feel more energized about your income, more grateful when paying your bills, or just more calm and clear headed about your financial planning. Maybe you just FEEL happier or more serene – that’s a beautiful result of coming to terms with the impact of our mindset on your reality!
Writing a new money story is completely possible, once you understand your current context. In next week’s newsletter, I’ll share three of the most common money stories I encounter with my clients, and journalling prompts to help you bust them once and for all.
