There is so much power in collaboration – and I don’t just mean on work or business projects. The Well Supported Woman is built on the belief that crowdsourcing our life & personal development makes us stronger, more productive & happier.
Just think about all the badass people in your life. Odds are, they’re full of wisdom, experience and insights that can help you on your own journey, but they may not know you need or want their input. People love to talk about themselves, and I genuinely believe that most people want to help others succeed –so don’t worry about being an inconvenience.
(Is there a right and wrong way to ask for support? Absolutely. Click here to download the guide to the Do’s and Don’t of Asking for Support in the Support Vault! Already a member of the Vault? Click here to login.)
Learning how to become a Well Supported Woman is like hacking your own personal development. You’re becoming incredibly efficient by learning from the experience of others, you’re building your confidence & connections, and you’re inviting future karmic opportunities to help your supporters when they need it, too.
Just in case I didn’t make this obvious, support can come from external sources like other people, OR from internal sources. Yes – you can support yourself. And that’s exactly what you’re doing when you’re committing to changing habits and learning about yourself!
But when we feel overwhelmed by the world of personal development it can feel impossible to know where to focus our attention or where to ask for external support.
It seems like another daunting task to try to understand our stressors or analyze our situation – and our overloaded brains just can’t handle it. We don’t know if we should be reading self-help books, working with a coach, journalling our heart out or just expanding our social circles. We just want things to be EASIER, and we want to feel inspired and motivated by our own growth.
That’s why I created The Well Supported Woman – to help you start down the personal development path, rather than spinning your wheels indefinitely. I prioritized the three areas of growth that I think are most beneficial to living a happy and fulfilled life – confidence, clarity and connection. Your unique self-help support plan will come down to you choosing which branch to explore, reflect on and implement first, based on which will be the most applicable to your needs.
You may want to start with Confidence if…
- You feel unsure about your voice, your message, or your presence
- You feel like your negative self talk is the biggest roadblock keeping you from success and happiness
- You struggle to identify your core values and gifts
If this is you, start here:
You may want to start with Clarity if…
- You want to change your life but don’t know how, and feel stuck in analysis paralysis
- You struggle with setting and completing tangible daily tasks and goals
- Looking ahead to your future feels like squinting through your windshield in a car wash. You know there are things out there, but you just can’t make out what they are yet.
If this is you, start here:
You may want to start with Connection if…
- You’re realizing that you crave more deep connection with yourself, with other people in your life, or with source (you can call source God, the Universe, powers that be, whatever)
- You feel like you’ve outgrown your friend group and are looking to expand and grow your community
- Networking scares the pants off of you. We are trying to avoid a no-pants-in-public situation at all costs.
If this is you, start here:
Now that you have a starting point, jump in! Don’t put off what could change your life now.
Hop on over to The Well Supported Woman Facebook group and share your results to get supported by other women seeking your same branch of personal growth. And for even more resources and goodies, be sure to subscribe for access to The Support Vault. It’s where I upload all my favorite worksheets and tools to support you in your efforts to grow confidence, clarity and connection.
Have you read Susan Cain’s book Quiet? I’ll admit that it’s one of the books on my far-too-long list of books waiting to be read, but I’m intrigued by the idea and thankful it exists. I’m a serious introvert, and it seems to be an aspect of my personality that only grows as I age. Or maybe I’m just leaning into it more – either way, it’s something I’m much more aware of now than I was five years ago.
Some people are surprised to hear that as a small business owner, a life coach, and a public speaker, I still consider myself introverted. How can that be, when I spend so much of my day talking to people and large groups? Being introverted doesn’t mean that I’m shy or awkward, it means that I prefer and crave alone time to process and recharge. I spend a lot of time in my head – thinking, creating, articulating, and dreaming. Being in my head is a natural state of being for me, while sharing those thoughts with the world is a process that requires conscious effort.
I have zero shame in my introversion game, and I ‘m a big proponent of working with your natural tendencies rather than against them. I’m even working on some self-care tips for introverts (coming soon!). However, sometimes it can be helpful to hack our own tendencies, in order to reap specific benefits.
One of the biggest challenges in being a small business owner and an introvert is mastering the art of networking. And believe me, it’s definitely an art! It’s also not a playing field only for extroverts: your presence as an introvert at these functions actually elevates the conversation. As Cain mentions in her book, small talk often feels like a death sentence to introverts, which is one reason we can feel incompatible with the concept of networking as a whole. So by mastering how you want to show up and share your ideas, you’re contributing to making the entire experience more meaningful and connection focused for everyone. Pretty sweet, right?
These are the 5 tips I use to ensure a powerful experience when I’m prepping for a networking event.
Commit to attending a specific number of events every month. You pick a number that makes sense for you and your calendar. Even committing to just one event a month is valuable! If you attend one networking event and feel uncomfortable, like you didn’t see the value, or both, it’s tempting to never attend another. Please don’t do this! As with any new skill, practice is crucial. You have to give yourself permission to be a beginner, and allow your networking muscles to strengthen over time.
Remind yourself of why this matters to you, your business, and your personal goals. Unless you’re grounded in your motivation, it will be really tempting to push this networking thing to the bottom of your to do list. You’ll find every excuse to justify a delay, especially if you’re feeling less than excited to attend. The truth is that networking (or lack thereof) can have massive ramifications on your business and personal goals. Networking is the equivalent of pre-internet social media: it’s how people in your community will learn who you are and why you matter. And you do! It’s an organic and free way to generate traffic to your business, and referrals can truly become the backbone of your business. Plus, if you’re looking to meet some specific personal goals, you’ll have a much greater opportunity to meet a professional who can help make those goals possible if you leave your house. 😉
Find a networking buddy and don’t let each other flake. If you’re feeling unsure, unmotivated or out of practice when it comes to promoting yourself and your work at these events, practice on your friend. Set a goal to be their biggest advocate at the event you’re attending together, and have them do the same. Not only will talking up someone else make you seem genuine and friendly, but it takes the pressure off of your buddy to pitch themselves.
Decide on a game plan with your networking buddy before you walk through the doors. In order to build up your networking buddy as an expert and as desirable, you have to know what they’re looking for. Ask them a few basic questions so you know where to direct the conversation about them. Ask: Is there anyone in particular you want to meet tonight? Is there a specific action or goal you’re looking to accomplish? Do you have a focus in your business currently? How many people do you want to connect with? Keep their answers in mind as you meet individuals throughout the night. Giving your buddy one powerful introduction to someone they’re looking to meet will be much more valuable than talking them up to anyone and everyone without a clear purpose.
Give to receive. It’s easy to feel pressured to push yourself HARD when you attend these events. After all, you want to maximize your networking time so that you have to do it less often, right? I encourage you to think about this differently. Rather than focusing on your personal goals and connections during the event, I suggest you seek to make as many introductions and connections between others as possible and appropriate. You’re building goodwill by helping the people around you succeed, and you’re winning your own supporters in the process. If you’ve given someone else the gift of business and support, they’re much more likely to return in kind down the line. Focus on giving, and know that the receiving will come.
Which of these tips was most helpful, fellow introverts? I’d love to hear in the comments whether you utilized these tips at your next networking event. You’ve got this!
I see this hold back so many women from being confident about themselves and sharing their skills with the world – and I don’t want that for you! You do NOT have to be an expert to be confident, all you need are a few tools. Spoiler alert: you already have everything you need.
Disclaimer: my videos are super casual and not edited to perfection. I’d rather share this with you than mess with the technical details! 🙂 Enjoy!
Stay tuned in the weeks ahead for more videos, addressing my top three practices you can use to build up your own confidence!
I’m a life coach, so this might sound obvious – but I love all things personal development.
At any given time, I’ve got 25 books stacked up waiting to be read about productivity, mindset and meditation. I have a morning routine (some days, not all!) that brings me into alignment. I try to do yoga several times a week, journal, and limit my screen time. I could browse Pinterest for hours, just reading about life hacks and how to make myself a better, happier, more efficient person.
I love personal development because it challenges me to reject complacency. It shakes me up and forces me to look critically at the way I’m doing things – am I living my fullest version of life? Or am I just used to doing things this way? Are there small tweaks I could make to live more mindfully and improve my quality of life?
Just like every hobby, though, it’s possible to take personal development too far.
Sometimes I feel overwhelmed by the number of books and courses I’ve purchased but haven’t finished. It’s easy to feel guilty if my morning routine doesn’t happen, or if I skip yoga twice in one week. There are days when even keeping up my bullet journal (a tool that seriously helps my anxiety and makes my day to day more manageable) feels like a chore.
I’m here to say that if you relate to this, you’re not alone. There’s a fine line between personal development and self improvement burnout.
If you’ve ever felt guilty or overwhelmed at the idea of starting new routines, fostering new habits or changing career paths, that’s totally normal. If you buy self help books and don’t read them, nobody cares. If you only meditate for two minutes before turning on your favorite podcast, I don’t give a fuck. If something isn’t working for you right now, it shouldn’t cause you shame – just let it go. Don’t forget that your life is yours to LIVE.
While personal development can provide valuable resources to get you through some challenging times, I hope you never feel guilt about being where you are.
Even if you don’t know where you’re headed, what your purpose is, or who your people are – you’re still perfect. Today. Right where you are.
Allow the tools of this industry to support you in living a life you love, not creating an over regulated and shame generating prison, because that will only make you miserable.
My challenge to you today might seem unconventional from a coach who focuses on clarity and planning – but I want you to use today as a chance to quit. Quit a book, a course, a routine or an obligation that makes you feel shitty, even if you think it’s for your “higher good.” Accept the lack of clarity or lack of drive or sense of confusion and refuse to judge yourself for it. And rest assured, when you’re ready to pick up some tools again, I’ll be here to help you out.
Are you suffering from personal development burnout? Let me know in the comments what your experience has been like, and how you’re quitting the things that don’t serve you.
Last week I got real on money mindset: what it is and why it matters for women. But I’m not done yet! Talking about our attitudes and preconceptions around money is one of the most important conversations we can have, precisely because money itself is unimportant. Money as we know it is simply paper – it doesn’t mean anything about who we are. However, because money is a tool we can use it to create the life we want or to deny ourselves that life – and therein lies the importance.
When we do have conversations about money as women, we often fill the gaps and lulls with deprecating comments or diversions to other more comfortable arenas. We’ll focus on the areas that don’t really matter (i.e. how much that item costs and why we could never splurge in that way) instead of the areas that do matter (how we perceive money and how we can feel liberated by our income to pursue a life we desire). Money has power over our lives because for the most part we have chosen to allow it to reign supreme. It is often THE deciding factor in all areas of our life: location, relationships, health and wellness, career and many others.
What if you and your desires could be the deciding factor instead? (Psst. If you haven’t read The Desire Map yet, pause here and do that! I also highly recommend Money, a Love Story if you’re interested in a more in depth understanding of your own money mindset.)
Today, I’m sharing three of the money stories (and usually, they’re not true stories!) I hear most often in my work as coach, and journalling prompts to help you understand and overcome them. Overcoming them will help you release some of the hold that money has over you and your life, as you realize that the only reason money seems to exert power is because you choose to let it.
- Someday I’ll ____, once I have enough money.
- Journalling prompts: In what other areas of my life am I putting things off for “someday?” How will I know when I’ve saved enough money? What is my relationship to having “enough?” What if I took action now, and figured out the money along the way?
- Rich people are all greedy and materialistic.
- Journalling prompts: Why do I believe these things about rich people? Are there examples of alternative people that prove me incorrect? Do I think having money would fundamentally change me as a person? Why do I feel the need to judge people who have money? What are ways that people with money can make the world a better place?
- I can’t afford that.
- Journalling prompts: Why is this my instinctual response? Is this true for me, or just what I’m accustomed to? What steps could I take to make this possible? What CAN I afford?
Once you spend some time journalling on these or other money stories, let them go. You can have a money lies release ritual, or just close your notebook with purpose, cutting off the need to focus on that limiting belief. Remember that every day and every dollar is an opportunity to rewrite your attitude toward money, and to feel empowered rather than trapped by the money in your account.
And keep talking about it! Ask other women in your life some of these questions, and learn from their experiences. The more we share our knowledge, the stronger we all become. Next week, my local women’s mastermind is meeting in person to tackle these money stories and rewrite versions that make us feel inspired rather than discouraged. What’s your rewrite look like? xx