There are so many women offering life coaching services these days, both in person and as an online life coach. This is a beautiful thing! It can also be overwhelming, with so many choices to pick from. You might be wondering, “How do I pick a life coach?” Well, I’m here to make the argument that you want to hire the imperfect coach-the one who’s talented, but not preoccupied with portraying themselves as the person with all the answers.
I want to be super transparent here: I’m still doing the work of personal development for myself. I think there’s a tendency in the personal development world for women to seek out a guru. A perfect, wise and omniscient woman who’s got the personal development thing on lock. They’re looking to hire or learn from someone whose life they want to emulate. There’s a certain comfort in hiring someone who seems to know everything and is capable of solving all of your problems.
But the truth is that hiring a guru, purchasing their book or watching their e-course won’t all of a sudden transform you into them. And that’s not realllllly what you want anyway. What’s so much more powerful? Seeking out a real person, a talented coach who’s imperfect and okay with it-someone who’s also committed to their own personal development, and who has been trained in helping you to remain aligned with your goals as well. Your coach shouldn’t be a security blanket, or someone that tells you what you’re doing wrong. They should be asking you the questions that make you think critically about your own choices and attitude.
I’m a trained life coach, and my bookshelf is full of self help books. I love this world, and I’m constantly immersed in it and learning from it. But I’m still in my own process!
For example, just yesterday, I was reading an article about growing my organic business reach using hashtags on Instagram (yes, I know I’m approx 3 years late to this game). Everything in me balked as I tried to come up with a list of relevant hashtags to use.
I wasn’t this person, I told myself. I’m not the girl with a mile long caption and dozens of hashtags, seeking attention and affirmation from strangers.
Woah. Where did that judgmental and rude voice even come from? That voice is not me at my best, nor is it who I am at my core. It’s my fear. And it will always fight to be heard.
I was shocked at my own reaction, but was almost instantly able to understand the origin. That’s what personal development is about: not shaming yourself for thoughts or behaviors, but understanding their origin and taking the mind off autopilot. Understanding yourself is the first step toward changing your reality.